Домой Тексты песен 100 things every man should know

100 things every man should know

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I had a crazy uncle
That was on his deathbed a long time ago,
He said «Boy… there’s a hundred things in life
Every man needs to know to survive…
And here’s 39 of em'»

1 A virgin don’t never drive a z-28
2 Never bet the ranch
On your prostate
3 If it’s got an adams apple
It’s probley a man
4 Never trust a gay gypsy
With the palm of your hand

5 She didn’t accidently get good in bed
6 You can’t join a church
If you’r already dead
7 A work uniform ain’t totally nude
8 Bream and bass ain’t seafood

9 When there’s guns in the house
One better be yours
10 Don’t be naked next to
Any fishin’ lures
11 If there’s girl scout cookies
She’s a little too young
12 If you say I do…
Be the ugly one

13 Don’t ever let a bald man
Borry your comb
14 Never play strip poker
In a nursin’ home
15 Don’t blame your pall bearers
Cuz they don’t show
If your buried
In the middle of the super bowl

16 Let people borrow money
They’ll leave you alone
17 Never fry bacon without a shirt on
18 Never spray water on a hornets nest
19 A woman rarely aces
The drivers test

20 The sign probably
Don’t really mean massage
21 Never threaten anybody in camoflauge
22 Say you love her til she lays down the butcher knife
23 Never put the move on the bosses wife

24 She’s messin’ round on ya
If yer briefs don’t fit
25 Never trust a hitch-hiker to babysit
26 Cosmo’s never
In a happy home
27 You can’t cut a deal with a kidney stone

28 A politician ain’t got an HMO
29 Washin’ her hair
Means she don’t wanna go
30 Don’t ridicule a biker bout’ his tatoo
31 You been married nine times…
Hell maybe it’s you

32 Doom ain’t the same as donkey kong
33 If he’s wearing high heels
You mighta raised him wrong
34 The clinic ain’t the best place to pick up dates
35 Don’t rent a room from a man named Bates

36 A tank tops never on a billionaire
37 Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there
38 How many get to heaven noone knows
(39) But hell will be asses and elbows

And then he died…
Crazy fool rolled over and DIED!
And never did tell me what them other 61 things were…
So if anybody out there knows…
How bout gettin’ ahold of me at Tim Wilson dot net